We are the result of the many different people we were since we were born. Our ultimate task: integration of all those identities.
We are in relation to other people, we become who we are moment by moment, because (or in spite of) that certain connection, and the next, and the previous. The way I see it, we exist in a succession of meaningful bonding interactions (the successful ones and the ones that left us hungry). We are who we attached to, in a way, and we walk beyond each one of those attachments forever changed.
Our relationships shape who we are, the meaningful interactions we create, or stumble upon, change us so profoundly as to even modify neuronal pathways in our brains.
With time, we will encounter others capable of conjuring a vast majority of those people we were. Strong friendships, passionate love affairs, permanent bonds lasting lifetimes, are possibly based on the particular quality of a relationship created when there is enough acceptance, an abundance of trust, a “good enough” mileu that allows for the people we were to show up and pave their way to integration. We will like some of those we were, we will try to avoid others.
Sometimes we will need our friend, our significant other, our parent, our partner… to quiet down those we were when they interfere with our happiness… but I think the moments of integration (aka happiness) are built upon summoning our core people, inviting them to join in and voice their opinions.
I cannot think of anybody better suited to host the reunion of our core people than a trusted psychotherapist. Integration in the therapy hour, in short.
In the final stages of a transition journey, marked by immigration, I am recuperating my full professional identity as a psychotherapist.
Intentional integration. That’s my personal journey.
That’s my passion. As a therapist. That’s my vision as a human being. That’s my promise to my clients. That’s my commitment to my loved ones.
